Settling or Satisfying?

So…I’m not quite sure how I’m feeling about my life at the moment.

I’ve gotten some depressing news over the last couple of days. I didn’t get into the Creative Writing program. And one of my really good friends did.  Of course, I’m thrilled for her, and she deserves it. But I can’t imagine it’s going to be a fun reminder having her talk about it all next year.  Also: Italy fell through. They couldn’t get enough students signed up so couldn’t hire any more tutors.  They want me to keep them in mind for next summer but I don’t know where I’ll be then.

So I’m jobless. And I won’t be a Creative Writing major next year.  And I might have to drop out of the co-op program since I don’t have a co-op job. I haven’t been exercising or eating well or going to church.  Also, I’ve been staying at my parents’ houses for the last couple of weeks and as much as I’ve loved seeing them – it’s getting to be a bit much. I’ve gotten to see a lot of friends too. But they all have things going on – work, school, travel – and I feel like a bit of a failure next to them.

Some good things have happened though.  I have gotten to catch up with a lot of my friends and family here.  And, I’ve gotten a bunch of writing jobs! “Jobs” is a loose term here because most of them don’t pay.  But – the experience! It’s a really fun time! And I’m starting to really enjoy article writing.  Maybe journalism/magazines are in my future… It’s intimidating but exciting at the same time.

So right now I’m working on: weekly fashion articles and press features for Style Blog UK, a romantic 3-part story to be sold on the Kindle, film/music/fashion articles twice a week for Un Nom de Guerre, and interviews and articles about event vendors for JRegistry.  I’m also in the middle of the application process for another publication, applying to internships, co-op jobs and freelance writing positions.  There are a lot of really exciting opportunities! And, as tiring as it is to be constantly applying, it’s nice that some things are coming from it all. Of course, it’d be better if these things paid…

For now, I’m working on my writing projects and still applying for other stuff.  I really want to get something that pays though! It would be a dream to get a writing job that pays but I think I need to look at getting a retail/hospitality gig.  I’m still applying for arts co-op jobs so I could end up back in Vancouver even.  It’d be sad to leave my friends & family but I would kind of love to live by myself, and of course have a paying 9-5. If not that, a job in Toronto I guess. Though I might go stir-crazy if I have to live with my parents all summer!

I need a bit of an escape. I really want to go to NYC. I’d love to make that happen in the next few weeks before I get tied down with a job.  Though, I’d like to have a job before I take off.  It’s a bit of a Catch 22. If I could just stay in New York and get a job there that would be amazing! Screw the whole green card thing…

So, it’s not the summer I thought I would have.  And of course I wish I was packing for Italy and working on a novel/script for my personal portfolio.  But I’m doing stuff I do enjoy.  I’m a published author! I’m googlable! I have a writing pseudonym! These are accomplishments I pride myself on and I wanted to happen anyway.  So maybe I go to Italy next summer.  Or I save up and go after graduation.  And maybe I apply to Creative Writing next year or I try for the Journalism program. I haven’t given up on my original summer dreams but I have realized some new ones.  And I can’t wait to see what else comes of this summer!


Thoughts? Let me know!

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